Bleeding.

Crying.

Weeping.

But still hanging on.

Still fighting on.

Still feeling torn.

His chipped and blunted swords in his hands. His armour torn and broken. Wounds physical and emotional, bleeding agony and screaming anguish. He knows there is nowhere to go, but forward.

He told himself; there's only three more to go, then your wings will sprout, and you can take flight. But what he thought would be a breeze for him has become harder than anything he had thought possible. He can feel his future slipping away, from the lighted path of hope into the blighted road of despair.

His family. They were there, and yet he feels only a little comfort from that.

His friends. Were they there, or were they not? Some were, some weren't, and some even wanted to bring him down. A melancholy takes over him as one close as a brother to him misunderstands him.

His love. What love? It did not exist, save in the scream-filled labyrinths of his mind.

His God. Once he felt closeness. Now he felt far away.

It was over. As he sees in the distance the imposing figure of his next opponent, he knew he would be defeated. Even now, as he reviewed the strokes and manuevers his teacher taught him, they were fuzzy, and his swords were blunt and cracked. Whoever fought with blunt swords? He chuckled sadly, a miserable sob of despair.

He closed his eyes, and allowed the darkness, not from the gloom of the night, but from his own jaded and broken heart to take him.

Come, Blade of Demons.

Come, Destroyer of Light.

Come, Slayer of Maidens.

The Sealer of Fate has fallen. Come, and take his place.

And deep within the dark of his heart, a snarl, hate-filled and blood-thirsty, sounded.

***********

Hmph.

In the bloody computer lab now, typing out something which i dont even understand.

Yes. Its me. Wait, do you even give a shit? No. I'll bet not.

Heh. Do you know how dumb this feels? POA is so damn hard. It's over.

Hopefully Geography gives me an easier time. Or else I might kill someone.

Hah. You wanna know how I think how I did?

Fine. Laugh at me, you whoresons.

EL: If I'm lucky A2. If I'm like my sister, C6

Maths: If the bugger's blind, A2. If not B3 or even B4.

Sci: Dunno. From what i see of Phy and Chem, B3-4

Lit: If Im lucky, A2. If not B3-4

Chi: Screwed it up. C6

Humans: Did pretty well 4 SS. Now up to Geo. Hope A2, if not B3-6

POA: From what I can see now, F9.

Now lets add them up: L1R4 = 24
L1R5 = 30

I can go nowhere. Great. Time to go ITE or even repeat. Or even kill myself, and see how far Christ is willing to stretch his mercy. If He doesn't, well, see you in Hell.

This is just rich. I know of one who has girls messaging him every night, and he complains that they send too fast or too many. Some guys I know would give everything just to be in his position. God, how I hate people.

Which brings me to my pathetic self. My self-centered dreams and egocentric fantasies could be the biggest comedy since Finding Nemo. And my biggest hope? Forget about it. God, how I hate myself.

This world really sucks. Really, really, I bet you guys have entertained that thought. And if you're one of those fools who mentioned on you-know-whos blog that friends stroke ones ego, then I hope you can learn to shuttup. A blog's made for rants, biatch. Anyway, I wish Eve had never eaten that fruit. Another reason why girls suck sometimes. If that...female had never touched that piece of shitte, then we would'nt be the state that we are in.

Heh. Apologies to all girls out there. I lost control of myself at times.

Lol. Jon's now pissed that I'm 'too lazy to learn the bass.' Okay Jon. I'll try to learn it. Though I hope you'll try to understand the reason for me not wanting to learn it.

I hope you're happy now.

I hope everyones happy now.

I hope God's happy now.

Ah screw all.

May all those poor buggers (incl. me) who are doing their 'O's this year enter whatever they want to enter.

Of course, if we're snatching for a position in the same course, then piss off.

Just kidding. heh.

***********

"Wah lao, Chemistry die already lah!"

"Aye guys, dun worry eh! We have only three or four more to go eh!

"Ya lor! After all this we practice from day to night!"

"Wah so fierce ah Ian?"

"We can! We fierce!"

"Yah yah yah, I think you just want to go and LAN right? Hoth...?"

"Ooh...Hoth...Yes..."

They laughed. Each of them had passed through the trials together, and they were now just waiting for it to be over. Joshua wiped his brow.

"Wah lao...Still got Geog, POA and MCQ sial..."

Ian laughed "Aiyah scared what? We got almost one week lorh!"

"Yah lah! So kanchiong for what? Aye Ian, wanna craft?" Eph grinned cheekily.

"Wah, aye, haven't see Royston for quite longded liao." Joshua asked.

"His parents lah! Aiyah, sure see him after 'O's one lah. Then he sure want to chiong pool one." Ian quipped.

They laughed again, and Joshua looked at the both of them. They were good friends in the main, though still a little unknown at times. But they largely took around the same subjects, and had the same disdain reserved for school.

"In fact, why dont we relax now eh? Lets go LAN ah!" Ian suggested.

"Okay lah! Aye Eph, go and play lah! Try Battlefront! It's a bit like Vietnam!" Joshua asked.

"Wah lao, don't want lah." Eph shook his head.

"Just try lah Fram. Its damn fun. I sure you like one." Ian assured.

"...Okay lah. Lets go." Eph nodded.

And the three of them left for the Somerset Cybercafe, ready to blast some bots into outer space.

josh fatesealer turned back time on 11/12/2004 02:05:00 pm.